2 Under 2

I have now spent 6 weeks in the trenches and I am loving it.  In all fairness, only 3 of them have been alone.  I was seriously afraid of what this new life might be like.  I imagined it to be constant chaos, sleepless nights, crying days and a whole lot of mess in between.  Very little of that has been the case, or at least not to the extent I convinced myself it would be.

Recovery from my second c-section has been so much easier.  I convinced the Dr to release me after only 2 days in the hospital.  He kept telling me most women stay for 4-5, but I was cleared so there was no real reason for me to stay.  The first few days home had me worried.  The house was a bit disheveled and I could barely get to the bathroom, let alone clean the way I wanted to.  For anyone who has been to my house, you are aware that I like things to be clean and organized.  All I could see were toys, dishes and unmade beds.  It was like a weird hell for this Type A (with some self admitted OCD tendencies) mama.  I believe I communicated my angst to Tim in a tearful rage.  Probably not one of my finer moments.  Needless to say, my loving husband who is all too aware of my "cleanliness issues" kicked it into high gear and became Super Dad/Mom/Person who has to do everything the hormonal crazy on the couch yells at him to do.  He was awesome.  Having things done "my way" helped to tone down some of my crazy and within less than a week I was up and moving.

I think the first 2-3 weeks I was holding my breath to see just how bad 2 under 2 would be.  I was preparing myself for the horror.  Gil didn't get the memo that nighttime = sleep.  I was up until midnight and then up every 2 hours to feed him until 6am when TJ would get up.  There was the immediate panic, is this how he is going to be for the next year?  I'll die.  I mean, I really will die.  Gil has since got the memo and I'm actually getting some real sleep.  TJ was pretty indifferent to this new addition.  He really didn't pay Gil much attention, until he would cry.  One of us would go to pick up Gil and TJ would stand in front of Gil and start whining to be picked up.  It was quite comical to watch TJ race to wherever Gil was and try to block us from getting him.  Thankfully TJ quickly realized the crying "thing" needed Mommy and Daddy.  He has actually become a really big help.  TJ's favorite tasks include; throwing away diapers, covering Gil with his blanket and making sure Gil has a pacifier (that he refuses to take).   Every shower I took in the beginning involved at least one child crying or joining me.  On the bright side, I was getting a shower.  In the mess of all of this I was fine.  I kept waiting for the overwhelming feelings to come, but they never did (or at least yet :).  It just keeps getting easier.

I have found the groove to my new normal (the boys having naps at the same time may contribute to that a little :).  My family has been fed, my bed has been made, I have taken showers, the laundry is done, I've made it to Bible study, I've gone grocery shopping alone with the two boys and I have not gone crazy.  I have even had time/energy to scrub the house to my crazy OCD hearts content.  When I think back to all of the anxiety I had about having two babies I have to chuckle at myself.  Things are not AS clean, organized or easy as they were before, but I feel more joy now while I'm "kill'n it" than I knew possible.  It's funny how as life gets more complicated it also gets a whole lot richer.